Fiona's story

"At times I’ve been really stable for a number of years and working and helping others, but other times, I’ve been unrecognisable – a zombie almost. I never take it for granted when I’m doing well – I take it a day at a time. You might get into a sense of false security and think ‘oh I’ve been ok for a few years’, but you never know.

"I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which means I get intrusive thoughts that come and go. When I’m really unwell, they are there 24/7. I’ve felt extremely alone before. OCD intrusive thoughts are so random and strange, so you think – I can’t share those."

"2013 was the first time I got really sick and ended up in hospital. I had attempted suicide and was in a really low place. I worked in a care home at the time and I’d just dealt with several people dying in the home. I was already suicidal. Putting these things together – I was really low and have never felt anything like it.

"I went to Samaritans house in Worthing around this time for support. It just looked like a normal house – you could spend as long as you liked there. There was a woman, a Samaritans listening volunteer, who listened to me without judging, just properly listened. A lot of people don’t do that. If you’re in a state, you need someone who will care and listen – which is really hard to find. I’ve used the helpline before and found it really helpful – it was a lifeline at the time.

"Samaritans genuinely care and have great listening skills. If Samaritans weren’t there, it would be very difficult There aren’t many phone lines that are 24/7 or places you can go for face-to-face support. Having somewhere open during the night is so vital too – night can be the worst. I know when I was really sick, I felt alone and isolated in the nighttime. Mental health doesn’t always fit into 9-5.

"There’s still a huge stigma around mental health. When I was in the hospital, a patient remarked ‘can’t you stop crying’ I was really distressed by it. He implied that his condition was worse than mine – he’d waited a long time for someone to see his broken leg and thought he should be seen first. I felt that perfectly illustrated how a lot of people still view mental health. Just because it’s not always as obvious as a broken leg, it’s just as important.

"To anyone that’s struggling, I’d always say – talk to someone. Get help. If you can get therapy or a counsellor, do. Keep in contact with friends and family, so you don’t feel alone. Getting the right combination of support can help you move forward. Go to Samaritans if you’re feeling suicidal and alone."