During a return trip to university, a woman approached Dom and asked if he was okay. Her kindness was enough to interrupt his thoughts and now Dom is able to look out for others who may need help.
“My lowest point was in November 2008 when I was 19 years old and travelling back to university after a short break at home. I remember I had been struggling for a while and feeling very overwhelmed, without the support I needed – but sadly I wasn’t talking to anyone about it. My dad dropped me to the station, and I was just stood there with a sudden thought about ending my life. Apart from probably looking very vacant and concerned, there was nothing hugely out of the ordinary about me standing there, but a lady came over to me and asked, “are you waiting for a train? Are you okay?” It was her kindness and words that instantly snapped me out of that moment.
I want to encourage everyone to talk about how they’re feeling and ask for help.
Dom
“It took me a long time before I spoke to anyone about that moment. I bottled the emotions up, threw myself into my sport and just wasn’t dealing with it, but it was a wake-up call and I eventually got help from the university and my family. I’ve had my ups and downs with my mental health after that, but I’ve come a long way since my 19-year-old self and feel I know how to support my mental health now. I throw myself into work and things that interest me and I regularly speak to a counsellor now and want to encourage everyone to talk about how they’re feeling and ask for help.
Trusting my instincts and talking to that one person can make such a difference.
“After university I joined Network Rail in 2012 and heard about Samaritans’ Managing Suicidal conversations course. I was really interested as I knew I’d been in that position, and I wanted to turn my experience into a positive to try and help others. I’m thankful for the ripple effect of that lady saving my life – without her stopping and checking if I was okay, I might not be here to now look out for and save others. I’m now always on the lookout for anyone who might need help. If I see someone who looks out of place or a bit down, I often just hand my bag to my wife and go over and ask if they’re alright and try and bring them to a place of safety. Nine times out of ten the person is absolutely fine – but in trusting my instincts and talking to that one person can make such a difference.
You don’t have to be trained – everybody has the ability to make small talk
“I think I’m a naturally curious person and because of my experience I’m more aware if someone may need help, but you don’t have to be trained – everybody has the ability to make small talk. Even if you don’t know what to say, you can say literally anything, and it could help. I’d even resort to talking about the pandemic right now, just to get someone opening up.
“In 2018, 10 years after the moment the lady saved me, I made a point of going back to mark the occasion and acknowledge how far I’d come — I was alive and there is good in life, which I might have missed out on if it wasn’t for that lady. It’s so true that small talk is enough to save someone’s life — just as it did for me and it’s what I always try to do for others.”
Image: Chris Turner/Samaritans
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