Claire became a Samaritans volunteer after calling Samaritans for support. Now if someone doesn’t look OK, Claire always starts a conversation, like they did for a grieving man in a park and many others.
“I became a Samaritans’ volunteer about four-and-a-half years ago. I think it had always been in the back of my mind that I would like to put myself forward, but in the end, the driving force was Samaritans being there to help me.
“I had been in a relationship that had ended 10 years previously, but my ex-partner would frequently make attempts to take their own life. Each time this happened, the police would contact me, and I would go and offer support. One night I decided to call Samaritans, where I was able to talk openly and freely about the fact that I didn’t want to go through this anymore. They didn’t give me the answers, but that call helped to change my decisions about that situation from then on.
“After this, I thought I had something to give and wanted to help others. To just be there to listen, like someone had done for me. Now I feel honoured that someone opens up to me and tells me what’s going on in their life, and as a result, can hopefully then move forward in some way.
I’ve always been someone who, wherever I go, will look out for people that don’t quite seem themselves. That might sound a funny thing to say, as obviously you don’t know that person, so how would you know if they’re not themselves. But it’s often their body language or just a vibe you get. If I see anyone who doesn’t look ok, I’ll always go and say hello.
Claire
“One time in particular stands out for me. It was around March last year when I went for a walk in the park near my home. I noticed a man, probably about 70 years old, sat watching the river go by. His body language and demeanour didn’t seem right. Although he was sat down, he was slumped and just seemed to be looking to nowhere. I know sometimes people are in a little world of their own, but this appeared to be more than that.
“I watched him for a couple of minutes, and he didn’t really move. It just seemed like nothing mattered – he looked sad. I decided I was going to make conversation, so I walked over to the bench and said, “Morning, do you mind if I sit here next to you?” He didn’t respond, but I went ahead and sat down. If anything, he seemed a bit shocked at first. I asked him if he was ok, but he didn’t reply. I decided to ask again and from there he started to talk. It seemed like once he started, he really did want to talk.
“He told me that his wife had passed away 12 months ago to that day. He talked about his life with her and how much he was now struggling. It turns out they used to go to that park together once a week, but he had started walking there every day as it made him feel closer to her.
“He said he didn’t think anybody else listened to him or wanted to talk about her anymore. We chatted for about half an hour, and I gave him the details for Samaritans. I explained that someone is always there to listen, and he never has to feel lonely. I really hope whenever he feels overwhelmed, he calls and talks things through.
“When we parted ways, he seemed much brighter, and I know the conversation had made him feel better. He said, “Thank you for listening, because nobody else does.” I think he was grateful that someone had taken the time to ask if he was ok.
“I came away feeling glad that I had been there for him, and he had someone in that moment when he was struggling. It felt good.
“I’ve made lots of approaches over the years. Whether it’s in a park, on the high street, or in a coffee shop. I’ve always had positive responses from people. They’ll often say, “I’m not feeling too good today” and from there, they’ve gone on to tell me why.
My advice would always be to simply go over and talk to someone. Say hello, ask how they are. Even if someone doesn’t want to talk, it’s always better to try. You just need to start that conversation.
