Nigel's story for Real People, Real Stories

Nigel Owens, Samaritans supporter, farmer and former International Rugby Union Referee now lives and works on his farm in South Wales.

“As a farmer, there are different sorts of pressures, there's no doubt about that. Life on the farm certainly brings up different challenges to refereeing.

“I came to own a farm by buying a little bit of land around the house, putting the sheds up and then buying the first lot of cattle a couple of years ago.

“It's a very, very difficult way of life. A very enjoyable way of life too. But it's very difficult. And that brings its own pressures and burdens on families.

“You work pretty much 24 hours a day. And even when you sleep, sometimes you've got to get up and check stock and animals. There’s always something to do, all the time.

“It can be quite a lonely place as well. In some rural communities, some farms are very isolated.

Living in a rural community, particularly in a farming rural community, you can feel quite isolated and quite alone sometimes. It can be very difficult to share those worries, the pressure of work, the long hours working alone.

Nigel Owens

“I think in general, across the board, men find it difficult to open up because of that macho image, I guess.

“I suppose in certain industries, in the macho world of rugby, in the rural agricultural community and certain other industries as well, there is that image of the man of the house.

“You feel that you can't show your feelings, you can't share those burdens and those worries.

“And that's why a lot of men bottle it up because they feel that they are the strong person in the house and they can't show a sign of weakness.

“It is a sign of great strength to open up about those troubles. It takes a lot of courage to do that.

“I think the important thing is to acknowledge that you are struggling with whatever it is. I think it is important for anyone to get help. But particularly men because men seem to bottle it up.

“There are different avenues and different places that can help you. And if you do get help, particularly if you can get that help early on before it festers too much, there’s a good chance you can deal with those issues, whatever they are.

I wish I would have asked for help and looked for help much sooner than I did. It would have helped a lot, there’s no doubt about it.

Nigel Owens

“I certainly do get days where you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. There's no doubt about that. And I think everybody experiences that in some time of their life.

“I've learnt over the years that you should look after yourself as well.

“Find time to talk to people. Find time to spend time with people that matter. When the body and mind are tired, it's important you listen.

“Unless you accept that you are struggling, then you can't move on to the next stage of what you're going to do about it.

“You can have a conversation about what is worrying you. Like I said before, it's a sign of great strength to seek help.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, because by doing that, it can prevent bigger problems down the line.

Nigel Owens

“People are there to help. Pick up the phone and contact Samaritans.

“It's great that there are organisations like Samaritans out there. Offering a service for people just to ring up and talk about whatever they want to talk about and not have to worry about being judged. A conversation like that can help somebody immensely.

"It’s a sign of great strength to seek help."