Little tips for helping someone open up when something’s up

These are some of the signs that someone may not be okay:

• Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy.
• Finding everyday things overwhelming.
• Not replying to messages,or being distant.
• Avoiding people or seeming quiet.
• Appearing restless or agitated.
• Easily tearful.
• Drinking or using drugs to cope with feelings.

Don’t be shy to ask how someone’s feeling:

• Choose a good time, and somewhere without distractions.
• Use open questions that need more than a yes/no answer.
• ‘How are things? I’ve noticed you don’t seem quite yourself.’
• Listen well. ‘How’s that making you feel?’
• Avoid giving your view of what’s wrong, or what they should do.

Showing you care builds trust to open up:

• Make eye contact and put away your phone.
• Focus completely on the other person.
• Pauses are fine, try not to jump in to fill a silence.
• Say back what you think it is they are wanting you to hear.
• Resist putting your own interpretation on it.
• Don’t give up. Sometimes it can take a few tries!

If it feels like the person is really struggling to cope:

• 'Would you like to get some help?’
• ‘Have you tried your GP?’
• ‘Would you like me to come with you?’
• ‘Did you know you don’t have to be feeling suicidal to call Samaritans?’
• ‘Samaritans is free, 24 hours a day if you’re feeling low or worried too.’
• ‘If it helps, you can talk to me any time.’