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As a man, we know it can sometimes feel like you’re stuck in a cycle, or that life has you backed into a corner.
When times are hard, you might feel low, like you’re facing your struggles alone.
Maybe you feel stuck, like the world is against you. Perhaps you feel alone, like you can't find the words to open up or unable to express yourself.
We know that many men in Wales are struggling to cope.
Maybe you’ve been told that you need to talk more. We all know it’s good to talk.
But perhaps you feel like no-one’s really listening.
When you’re ready to open up, you deserve a great listener.
At Samaritans, we are always listening, day and night, in English and Welsh – our volunteers are trained expert listeners offering free, anonymous, non-judgmental support.
And if you know someone who is struggling to cope or isn’t acting like their normal self, our listening tips can help you support others. Together, we can all become better listeners – listening can change lives.
So, whether you’re ready to open up or listen up - we’re ready when you are.
Opening up about your feelings isn’t always easy. Perhaps you feel you have to be strong or silent. But bottling up emotions can lead to increased stress, poor mental health or even suicidal thoughts. Sharing how you feel can be the first step towards getting help.
If you’re ready to open up, we’re here to walk this journey with you.
Call:
Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you understand them better
Email:
Write to us, in English or Welsh
Remember, you’re not alone. We’re here to listen, support, and help you find your way through.
For more resources that may help, please scroll to the bottom of this page.
We believe that listening can change and save lives. You don’t need to be an expert to become a better listener and support someone in distress. The most valuable thing is that they don’t feel alone and that they know someone cares.
Many people worry that reaching out will be intrusive or make things worse. You’ll soon be able to tell if the person you’re speaking to isn’t comfortable or doesn’t want to have that kind of conversation. If they don’t want to open up, you’ll still have to let them know you’re there for them.
Once someone starts to share how they’re feeling, it’s important to listen. This could mean not offering advice, not trying to identify what they’re going through with your own experiences and not trying to solve their problems. We’ve compiled some listening tips to help you give the best support you can.
If you’re worried someone is suicidal, it’s okay to ask them directly. Research shows that this helps - because it gives them permission to tell you how they feel and shows that they are not a burden.
Focus on the other person, make eye contact, and put away your phone.
To really listen to someone, you need to give them your full attention, maintain eye contact and focus on them. Getting into the habit of doing this takes practice, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Keep trying, you’ll get there.
Try and keep a 'listening diary' for a week. Record when you've listened well by noting down one thing you've learned about the other person. Make a note of anything you found challenging or distracting.
It may take time and a few attempts before a person is ready to open up.
Listening well is about creating trust with the other person. They shouldn’t feel rushed, or they won’t feel it’s a safe environment. If the other person has paused in their response, wait a moment. It's important to remember it might take them some time to get their words out or express what they're feeling.
Through non-judgemental listening and being patient, you’re allowing the person to relax into the conversation and to use it as a place to reflect or work through difficult emotions.
Use open questions that need more than a yes or no answer.
An open-ended question means not jumping in with your own ideas about how the other person may be feeling. Try not to ask questions that leads them to a particular answer, for example, instead of asking ‘have you had a bad week?’, try ‘what’s been going on for you this week?’. Being open-minded can encourage them to reflect, open up and talk. Remember, the conversation is a safe space you’re holding for them, and nothing they say is right or wrong.
Avoid questions that close down the conversation. For example, instead of ‘are you OK?’, try ‘how are you feeling today?’ and follow up with ‘tell me more…’.
Check you’ve understood, but don’t interrupt or offer a solution.
Repeating something back to someone is a really good way to let them know you’re listening. You can check to see that you’re hearing what they want you to hear, and not putting your own interpretation on the conversation.
Try not to be put off by a negative response and remember, you don’t have to fill every silence.
You might feel uncomfortable asking someone how they feel, but you’ll soon realise if someone feels uncomfortable and isn’t ready to talk about it. Just let them know you're there if they ever want to talk.
You’ll be surprised at how willing people are to listen and how, sometimes, it is exactly what somebody needs to be able to share what’s on their mind.
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Thank you for supporting out #OpenUpListenUp campaign. Download the below assets to get involved on social media and help us reduce suicide rates in Wales.
Don't forget to tag us @SamaritansCymru and use #OpenUpListenUp
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