Adrienne, 29, from North Lanarkshire, called Samaritans when she was struggling to cope.
On World Suicide Prevention Day 2024, she is encouraging people to say how they are really feeling and get the support they need.
A lot of people say ‘it’s okay’ or ‘I’m fine,’ when they are clearly far from either. There are lots of different ways we can dismiss and brush off our emotions as nothing.
I was very good at saying I was fine even when I had tears in my eyes or had gone pale with anxiety. I was phenomenal at saying was ‘it’ll be fine’ and ‘I’ll get over it’.
In those moments, I was trying to be brave and not to be an inconvenience to people.
I was worried that I would somehow push people away by being vulnerable or simply explaining that I was sad and not doing well at all.
But at the same time, I was pushing people away by closing them off from supporting me.
Every time I said ‘I’ll get over it’ and ‘I’ll be fine,’ all it did was falsely reassure people that I was okay and made it seem like I was being silly.
It took away the seriousness of how low I was and contributed to me being totally isolated.
When I said these things what I meant was – ‘I feel really sad and overwhelmed, I need you to sit with me and listen to me. I know I will get through this because I have someone to talk to’.
I was just frightened to actually say what I meant. It’s so important that even if we do say we’re okay that people don’t dismiss it.
In the times I said I would get over it, I got worse and worse, and eventually it led to my call to Samaritans.
For someone who is going through something similar and finds themselves brushing things off, giving half-truths and half explanations for how they are feeling, I would say that it is very important that you at least tell someone what you need.
It’s better to talk about it and get your thoughts out before they become tangled up and confusing.
I would suggest saying things like, ‘I know it’ll be okay but I would like to talk about it,’ or ‘it should be fine but I need some help to figure out what I’m doing or how I’m feeling’.
If you need someone to talk to, Samaritans volunteers are available to listen 24/7, 365 days a year by calling 116 123.