For 20 years, Lee, a former Royal Green Jacket, has lived with PTSD, disrupted sleep and experienced suicidal ideation.
He has contacted Samaritans for support several times, a charity he passionately supports, and has sadly lost several friends, many from the Armed Forces, to suicide.
I did a tour of Afghanistan and tour of Iraq, and then came out of the Army in 2006. I was Infantry, a Royal Green Jacket, so, at the sharp end of things. A lot of the experiences I had were around civilian casualties. A different person came back.
From the moment I got back, I didn’t feel like I fitted in. It felt quite dark. I didn’t understand why I was feeling that way. I used drink to help with my sleep issues.
For about 20 years, from leaving the forces until now, I’ve had mental health problems. I didn’t reach out for help initially but some different charities did get involved, but I never really got anywhere with it or felt like I could get any extra help.
Within a year of being back I couldn’t cope with things and one day tried to kill myself.
It takes a lot, especially for people from my background to admit you’re struggling and reach out for help. Samaritans are there to listen and being able to sound off to someone is good.
Samaritans offered a lot of hope, and that’s what I liked about them and why I rang them. They’re there if you need someone to talk to.
I spoke to some amazing people at Samaritans, it’s proper help, I suppose it’s a safety net when you fall, rather than anything glamourous, it’s honest help. Volunteers aren’t getting paid, they’re there because they want to be and in my eyes that’s real charity. It comes from a place of kindness, and I try to give back myself.
The bravest thing you’ll ever do is ask for help. If you can ring the Samaritans, nobody’s going to know about it. Somebody who has volunteered their time will be there.
Lee
Call Samaritans’ Veterans Emotional Support Hub, free, 24/7, on 0808 175 3075.