What are suicidal thoughts?

Suicidal thoughts can feel different for everyone. A person experiencing these thoughts might be dealing with a range of overwhelming feelings:

• Feeling sure that they want to die.
• Desperately searching for a way out of what feels like an unbearable situation, unable to see any other solution.
• Not caring if they live or die, leading them to take more risks or live recklessly.
• Not actively wanting to end their life but seeing death as a welcome release or a way to regain control.
• Feeling confused about why they are having these thoughts and feeling powerless to know what to do.

Someone who is having suicidal thoughts might also change their behavior. You might notice someone:

• Who is normally outgoing becoming withdrawn.
• Drinking more than usual.
• Appearing distracted or “not quite there”.
• Having less energy.
• Finding it hard to cope with day-to-day life.
• Making negative statements like “it’s like everything is against me”.

A more subtle, but equally dangerous, warning sign of suicide is hopelessness. Studies have found that hopelessness is a strong predictor of suicide. People who feel hopeless might talk about their feelings as “unbearable”, predict a bleak future, and express that they have nothing to look forward to.

By talking more openly about suicide, and really listening to people’s thoughts and feelings, we can give people the chance to express themselves and get the support they need.

Having someone there to listen when life is difficult can make all the difference. It could even save a life.

There are lots of different reasons why someone might be having suicidal thoughts. Life can feel overwhelming when problems start to pile up, and sometimes it can seem like there’s no way out of the pain. Sometimes, people struggling to cope may feel so weighed down by their emotions that suicide feels like the only escape.

For some, the reasons behind these thoughts might not be clear, making it even harder to believe that things can get better.

If someone confides in you about suicidal thoughts, it's important to take them seriously. You don't need to have all the answers or fix their problems. Simply being there, listening, and encouraging them to talk about their feelings can be incredibly helpful.

It’s not just a warning sign that they might be thinking about suicide, it’s an indication that they are struggling.

If you think someone is considering suicide, you might be afraid to bring up the subject. Suicidal thoughts and feelings can be difficult to talk about, but talking about them can save a life. Research shows that talking about these feelings can reduce them and can lead to people getting the help they need. Many people who have struggled with these feelings say that just having someone to talk to made a huge difference, and it was a relief to share what they were going through.

The majority of people who feel suicidal do not actually want to die; they just want the situation they’re in or the way they’re feeling to stop. The distinction may seem small, but it’s so important. It's why talking through other options at the right time is so vital.

There are lots of myths about suicide, like that you can’t ask someone if they are suicidal or that there’s nothing you can do if someone is serious about killing themselves. Understanding these myths can help you to help someone who is struggling to cope.

Read more myths about suicide

Simple actions can help you be there for someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts.

Evidence shows asking someone if they are suicidal can protect them. By asking them directly, you give them permission to tell you how they feel and let them know they aren’t a burden.

If the person you’re with does share how they are feeling, it is usually better to listen and respond with open questions – not advice or opinions. The important thing is that they know you will support them, without judgement, as far as you are able to.

You can also offer to help with practical things they might need in the moment, like getting them a glass of water, calling the GP or getting in touch with their friends or family (with their permission). Or they might need you to watch TV with them or do an activity.

When they’re feeling able to think about next steps for looking after themselves, you can suggest you make a ‘safety plan’ together. A ‘safety plan’ will lay out steps for coping in a crisis, and help them make sure they have the support they need going forwards. You can complete one together, and both keep copies to refer to. It will also help you know how best to support them in the future.

If the person you’re talking to would rather speak to someone they don’t know, you can suggest they call us on 116 123. We're here to listen 24/7, 365 days a year. Alternatively, they can email us on [email protected].