Amy’s story

“Hope has been a tricky thing to hold onto these past 18 months. I feel lucky that I’ve had enough love and support from friends and family to survive this time with my hope mostly intact. Having continued as a listening volunteer at the Glasgow branch of Samaritans throughout the pandemic I know that this isn’t the case for everyone. When you’re in the middle of a mental health crisis or struggling emotionally, or with a personal crisis and can’t even see the horizon, it can be hard to take positive steps to keep your outlook hopeful and forward-focused.

“I have been in that hopeless place. I have had thoughts of suicide because going forward felt futile. I could hear and understand received wisdom: ‘Things will get better' and ‘This too shall pass’, but my whole being fought against believing it. My situation felt permanent. For me, hope was a thing for other, normal, people.

“When life feels bleak, it needs help to grow. Like the many new house plants I have acquired over lockdown, I am learning to be the gardener of my hope. Tending it might mean different things for different people but for me, a healthy hope plant is fed with self-kindness and compassion. In other words, I give myself a break, I watch my favourite Netflix show, I go for a walk in the sunshine (even if I have a deadline), I arrange to meet a friend, I buy the fancy biscuits, and try to let go of the guilt. And I repeat until life has begun to bloom again.”

Amy works as a freelance actor, writer and facilitator who works mostly in theatre and with community groups across Glasgow. She also loves the great outdoors: hiking, running, cycling, climbing and discovering new wild swimming spots.