Paul’s story

“My name's Paul. I'm a Samaritans listening volunteer. I started training in 2022. I realised before this training, I didn't listen well. I didn't know how to listen. But now with the skills I got from here, I can actively listen.

“It doesn't only help in Samaritans, it helps in all walk of life. When I talk to my ex-partner, if I talk to my children and also to police officers, we engage much better. I can listen to their opinions as well.

“I'm an ex-gang member. I wanted to give back to the community and I thought, what is the best way I can do that? So I was looking at different organisations and then I came across Samaritans and I thought, OK, what do they do? And I realised they just listened to people. And because I can get into certain places and talk to certain people who trust me, I can use those Samaritans skills to talk to them and find out exactly what's going on in their life. Then they can find out there's different options for themselves so that they don't need to carry the gun, they don't need to do certain things. I travel around, put in Samaritans leaflets to different places.

“I'm in my forties now, so I was in a gang from the age of 13. I was conditioned to keep things in. Now I can open up and just talk to Samaritans leaders, and if I've got problems, talk to the other Samaritans. And it's amazing to just offload. Some say that it's a weakness, but in fact it's great strength to open up.

“It's very unusual to see a black man as Sikh. So I'll get put in challenging situations where I have to be careful that I don't get shot. Because I wear a Kirpan, I get stopped a lot by police. I've had challenging situations where a lot of people would get angry, but I've held the anger in. Now coming to Samaritans, it's also given me the skills to talk to police officers, letting them know that it's not an offensive weapon. It's part of the identity of a baptised Sikh.

“We have to wear the five Ks. I've got a Kangha, which is a small wooden comb, special pants called Kachera. Then the Kara, the uncut hair which is Kesh, and then the Kirpan.

“When I first thought of Samaritans, I just thought it was a Christian organisation, but when I really looked into it, I realised that it's nothing to do with religion, it's just there for anybody who needs help. Coming to this branch is very diverse. You've got every color of person, different religions and everything. It is an amazing place. Being here represents the whole of the United Kingdom. You've got every religion, every race, and it's mixture of male and female.

“When I joined the training team, I wrote down that this cause can put us in situations that conjure dark memories of the past. They can trigger emotions that can make us feel uncomfortable, uneasy and strange feelings of uncertainty and even make us doubt ourselves, so it is of the utmost importance that we trust our shift partners and leaders and that we open up about how we are truly feeling. I said: “It is OK to not be OK and to reach out to support if we feel we need it. Some may see that as weakness, but in fact it's great strength to ask for help.” That's how I see it. And that's what Samaritans has done for me.

“When somebody calls and they're totally hysterical, really upset, then after you just talk to them and listen to them and then they are happy or not in a negative way, that's very rewarding. People call for lots of different reasons. From little stress at home to wanting to end their life because of certain reasons.

“It's my advice to someone who might be struggling with the mental health, to contact Samaritans. Because it's confidential, it's anonymous. We don't judge nobody. We'll just walk with them down the path they have and let them pull out the options that they think is best for them.”

Lives change when we break the silence. You can help volunteers, like Paul, be here to listen to people when they need us most. A simple donation has the potential to change countless lives.

With your support, we can be there to listen when people break their silence.