Faye struggled with self-harm from the age of 13. With support from Samaritans, Faye found a new perspective.
At school I was bullied. At age 13 I had suicidal thoughts which came around the same time the bullying got worse. Secondary school wasn't the greatest time for me. My sister has autism and could be violent both physically and mentally. I started to self-harm because something just clicked and I started to do it.
It carried on for quite a few years and it got worse. When I was 14 I tried to take my own life. I was so unhappy. My body was weak and felt awful. I was seen under Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) until I was 18, but I also had teachers and a close friend I could talk to. I never spoke to my parents about my self-harming as I didn’t want to upset them.
After I was discharged from CAMHS, I started to feel suicidal and low. I called Samaritans and found that talking really helped me.
Now if I have a bad day I speak to my mum, or my friend. I don’t bottle things up. I wish I had spoken to my parents about how I was feeling back then. I isolated myself and I got used to not speaking to my parents about how I was feeling. The situation then spiralled and it became harder and harder to express how I was feeling.
At age 18 I fell pregnant and it really changed my view on the world. Up until the age of 17, I didn’t want to be alive due to the bullying I encountered at secondary school. When I was pregnant I found a whole new perspective. I started to eat properly and I looked after myself.
It is early days but I have not self-harmed now for around two years. My advice to anyone who is self-harming, speak to someone, whatever the problem is it can really help. Talking about things can help find the answers you're looking for, you may even be able to answer your own question while speaking about it.
After speaking about my thoughts and feelings I sometimes wrote down the ways in which I could improve certain things. Writing things down is great as it stops me from overthinking and it’s just there on a page in black and white.
