Declan’s story

I joined the Scottish Ambulance Service nearly two years ago and for the first time in my life I've found a job where I get up in the morning and I'm happy to go to work. My official job title is an EMD (Emergency Medical Dispatcher), but essentially, I'm an emergency call handler. I take 999 calls as they come through and we deal with everything from chest pains and giving life-saving instructions such as CPR, to dealing with childbirth. However, a large percentage of our calls involve mental health.

My dream job my whole life was to be a paramedic and that’s something I always wanted to work towards. However, working full time and trying to keep a house meant that going to university just wasn’t feasible. The EMD job advert had popped up randomly one day when I was scrolling online and I just thought it sounded really interesting. My plan was to eventually go out on the road and be an ambulance technician, but after I began working as a call handler, I realised that’s what I love and wanted to stay on this side of things.

My role is about to expand and will involve splitting my time between call handling and being an auditor, which essentially means I’ll be helping to ensure everyone continues to uphold the standards of the Scottish Ambulance Service.

I’ve received several commendation letters, which really means so much when you get recognised by the people you've helped. The one that will always stick in my mind was from a dad who thanked me because his two-year-old son had a seizure and stopped breathing, so we started to deliver mouth to mouth. We were able to get him to breathe again and the dad put in the commendation for keeping him calm and giving him the instructions he needed to save his baby.

I would say the biggest volume of calls we deal with are things like fits and chest pains, but this is closely followed by mental health. In fact, I've never worked a shift where I've not taken a mental health call – sometimes it could be more than 25. Calls from people attempting to take their own life or self-harm are really common.

Signing up to the STEP (Samaritans Training and Engagement Programmes) courses was a big deal for the Scottish Ambulance Service, because it was their first time outsourcing training. We've never had people come in and train us before, everything was always done in-house.

There was increasing feedback from call handlers when they joined the service that there was no specialised training on how to deal with mental health callers. We were also recognising that there was an increase in the volume of calls we were receiving related to mental health.

I know a call that really impacted me was when a man phoned to say he was going to take his own life and was letting me know, as he wanted somebody to find him. I had no way to talk him down. I didn’t know how to communicate with people on calls like that. It was hard to deal with when the call ended and you think, “I wonder if I said the wrong thing?” It’s a lot of pressure and I don’t think I had any coping mechanisms.

I’ve had my own battles with mental health in the past, which sometimes made those calls harder to manage, but I’m a lot better at coping with them now and in many ways it’s easier for me to relate to the people I'm talking to. I've managed to battle and overcome bad depression and come out the other side, no longer needing to take any medication, which is what I was working towards. It shows that there can be success stories and there is light at the end of the tunnel, even when it seems like there's not.

Through my work with SAS, I’ve realised the volume of people that struggle with these things. When I was going through it myself, I thought I was a minority, that I was weird, that it wasn't normal to feel the way I was feeling. It turns out that so many people go through it. I thought depression was just feeling sad and sorry for yourself and I used to tell myself I just needed to stop feeling that way. But it’s not that at all, it's so much bigger and so much harder than that. There are so many different problems people can face with their mental health and everybody goes on a completely different journey, which is something I never really thought about before.

There was also a focus on how to look after yourself, reflect on the conversations you have, and to speak to people about the things you’re struggling with. So, in that sense, the training definitely had an impact on how I work with colleagues. It has made conversations more open when it comes to mental health. I remember talking through specific calls with colleagues that I had found difficult. You’re always going to have a handful of calls that you will remember for the rest of your life. Samaritans helped us open that conversation to talk about these things, because the best people to talk to are your colleagues as they know exactly what you’re going through. It’s important for us to communicate with each other that way. If we don't rely on our colleagues and talk out our problems, that's when you take it home and things can snowball.

I think I learnt the importance of learning to cope with a call after you've taken it. Sometimes you forget about yourself. You become so focused on helping everybody over the phone, you then finish the call and just move onto the next. It’s important to take the time to sit and reflect and say to yourself, “I did my best” and then move on. If you don’t then things can build up and then you’re not in a good place.

I’ve seen the benefits of the Samaritans training outside of work, too. I suppose mostly in everyday conversations, so if somebody is saying they’re having a really tough time, whether their car has broken down or they’re not getting on with their mum, I’ll say, “I'm really sorry to hear that. Is there anything that I can do to help?” Just simple sentences without making it about me. That's my biggest take away.

There was a call with a teenager who said she was feeling suicidal and just didn't want to be here anymore. She was actively taking steps to end her own life while we were speaking. It was really difficult to begin with to get her to acknowledge me and to listen, but eventually I managed to get her to open up and tell me what had been going on and why she was feeling that way. It transpired her mum had passed away and she was now in the care of her grandmother. Both of them were really struggling with the transition.

I was finally able to go and wake up her grandmother, who I spoke to and reassured her that help was coming. I stayed on the phone until the ambulance arrived and the rest of the call was basically just talking about memories of her mum. What kind of person she was, what they did together, and how she could continue that. It felt like a really human call. I didn't feel that I was doing my job at that point, I just felt that I was talking to someone about their life.

I was a bit emotional after the call and had a cry, but then I was fine because I knew that I had got her the help she desperately needed. It's a good feeling to know that you've brought someone down from boiling point, but it takes a lot of persistence. It's never just one or two words. It's so difficult over the phone to create a connection, so you've got to just use your voice to show your empathy and understanding. There's no other way of doing it, but it makes you feel accomplished when you manage to achieve that.

After every shift I’ll get in my car to drive home and wind both the windows down so that I'm getting gusts of fresh air when I'm driving. I just put my music up loud and sing the whole way home. I like all music but I'm big on musicals or if I really want to belt something out, it'll be Céline Dion. I also like listening to podcasts – I’ll just try and concentrate on something else once my shift is over.

Being part of a team helps, too. I think having that same support network all the time with the people that you're comfortable with and the people that you can open up to is really helpful, especially when you're struggling. Often you tell your work colleagues things you wouldn't even tell your friends. They’re bonds that really help you cope.

I think the most important thing that anybody who is struggling needs to hear is that it’s ok to feel the way they're feeling. There are people there to listen and not judge. That's my biggest go to when I'm on a mental health call: I'm here to listen, I don't need to speak.