Should I ask people about their online activity around suicide and self-harm?

This page explains why, as practitioners, you need to be comfortable talking to people about their online activity around suicide and self-harm. It also offers some tips to get started.

Why do conversations about online activity around suicide and self-harm matter?

Many people use the internet and social media to help them explore and understand their experiences and thoughts around suicide or self-harm. People’s experiences online can have implications, both positive and negative, for their wellbeing. But how their online activity affects them is not always clear to themselves or others. There are many complex factors involved in assessing what is harmful or helpful. Talking about it is the best way for you to draw these factors out and offer support.

By sensitively asking about online activity around suicide and self-harm you can also:

help the person to feel less embarrassed or private about their online activity
help them explore the underlying motivations for their online activity
give them space to reflect on the impact of their online activity
help them decide if there is anything they want to change about how they engage with this content online.

When do I bring it up?

It’s an important area that everyone should be comfortable bringing up. The type of support you provide might affect how you start the conversation.

If you're looking at an individual's risk of harming themselves, it’s important to ask about online activity. Asking about it early can help you better understand their suicide and self-harm risk and the role the internet may play. Ask direct questions, including whether they look at methods of harm online.

If you have an ongoing relationship with someone, you may prefer to build rapport and trust before you raise the topic, to help them feel more comfortable opening up to you.

Even if you usually let the person you support lead the session, you can't always wait for them to bring it up. They may need your help to understand that online activity is something that they can talk about and appreciate you asking.

If they didn’t ask me, I would never talk about my online use for fear they’d think it was weird or they wouldn’t understand. By asking, it would stop me feeling so embarrassed.

Person with lived experience on why practitioners should ask about online activity

How do I bring it up in a supportive way?

The most common reason people give for not talking to practitioners is fear that they will be judged. Sometimes they’re not sure whether practitioners understand the importance of the support online spaces can offer. They may also worry that sharing their internet use with a practitioner may lead to negative consequences for their care or having their internet access taken away.

Will it be used to discredit you elsewhere in the health system or by the practitioner themselves later?

Person with lived experience on the reasons they worry about sharing their online activity

When talking to someone about their internet use around suicide and self-harm, you should:

listen and be non-judgemental
ask broad, open but direct questions
make sure your reactions don’t encourage any feelings of shame
show that you understand that the internet can be important in many areas of people’s lives
show that you know that the internet can provide support around suicide and self-harm in ways which many people find helpful.

What are the main things to look for in these conversations?

You should explore with them the underlying reasons for why they look at suicide and self-harm content online. You can talk about how their experiences online make them feel. These conversations can help you work out if they have any unmet support needs.

Here are some of the things you might talk about:

What they want to get from the internet and whether they feel like it is giving them that.
What they view, post or share about suicide and self-harm and the sites or platforms that they use.
What they find comforting, and if there’s anything that makes them feel worse.
How they control or manage their experiences.
How their online activity fits in with the rest of their life.

It’s ok if this information comes slowly. People can be very private about their internet use.

Explore practitioners’ fears and barriers to starting conversations

Do I need specialist skills or expertise to talk about internet use around suicide and self harm?

No. You do not need any specialist skills or expertise related to the internet. It’s about good communication. Just use some of the time you have with a person to listen and explore their experiences online.

Want more training on how to have conversations about internet use around suicide and self-harm? Try our course on e-Learning for Healthcare.
If you’d like a refresher on good communication use our Listening Tips.

Do I need to know a lot about online platforms?

You don’t need to know a lot about the different platforms or social media people are visiting. The internet is vast and constantly changing. Try asking the person you support to explain it to you. Often they will find it encouraging and empowering to be able to talk about their experiences in their own terms.

Remember that confidence comes with experience and these conversations will get easier the more you have them.

If you want an overview of the basics, look at our short introduction to platforms, sites and apps.

Could my questions encourage someone to look for potentially harmful information online?

It’s very common for people to use the internet to explore their feelings around suicide and self-harm. So it’s unlikely that this will be something they haven’t thought of before. Asking people what they do online can encourage them to open up about their experiences and give them an opportunity to get support.

You can reduce the risk of people viewing harmful content by not naming or sharing any specific sites, methods of harm or harmful viral trends or messages.

Next steps

To find out more about what questions to ask and how to discuss these topics sensitively, read our page on helping people to reflect on their online activity.

How to talk about internet use

Can you help us improve our Guidance for Practitioners?

We’re evaluating the helpfulness of this guidance and would like to hear from you.

Do you have some time to spare to tell us about your experiences of using these resources? We’re keen to learn if we could do anything better. If so, please express your interest by clicking the link below.

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Last reviewed 18th January 2023