People we spoke to described experiencing a range of psychological impacts due to the pandemic, including the impact on suicidal thoughts and feelings.
Some people told us they were finding no enjoyment in life during the pandemic. Radhana missed opportunities to celebrate her engagement as well as birthdays and promotions, “it feels like nothing has been celebrated or enjoyed”. Damien felt guilt at not having been as productive as he would have liked during lockdown.
However, others spoke about how they had built resilience through finding new activities and ways of coping, such as turning to arts and crafts; housework, cooking, gardening and DIY; entertainment such as TV, online theatre and podcasts; physical exercise; and self-help strategies such as mindfulness, relaxation and journaling. Lauren joined some online courses, where she “made some new friends and had some very positive experiences”. As a result of this, some people found that dealing with the second lockdown was easier than the first, and in fact some even spoke about having a positive experience of the pandemic. Read more about resilience here..
Several people mentioned feeling hopeless for the future at times. For instance, people told us about not seeing an end to coronavirus, feeling worried about future ‘waves’ of the virus, and uncertainty about future life plans.
I have no hope for the future anymore. This year was meant to be the year when I graduated from my Master's degree, moved out and started my life. Instead, I'm stuck at home, on benefits, living the same day over and over again, isolated from all the joys that make life worth living.
Julia
Some described feeling stuck in the present and struggling to look beyond what they had lost or had been delayed. This added to their sense of hopelessness. However, people also spoke to us about feeling hopeful and excited when thinking about the eventual end of the restrictions. Many were looking forward to seeing friends and family and to getting back to ‘normality’. Radhana is staying positive and looking forward to future celebrations, “the day this pandemic ends I'm going to get married… that is something that brings a lot of joy to me right now”.
People also spoke about feeling trapped by the pandemic, both physically and emotionally. Radhana told us that during the early months of the pandemic, “I just felt really trapped. Not just physically but mentally as well that I can't act on things to make me better, or I cannot do something for myself to feel better". Read more about Radhana's experience of the pandemic..
The fact that people spoke to us about feeling hopeless, defeated and trapped is concerning as these can be risk factors for suicidal ideation.
Sadly, some people did tell us they experienced an increase in frequency and intensity of suicidal thoughts over the pandemic. Ruby told us that “As far as suicidal thoughts, I would say that has been more of a feature in the last year for myself… when things have been really difficult in the last year, it's been there a bit more frequently than last two or three years.”
For some, dealing with the pandemic on top of pre-existing mental health conditions exacerbated their difficulties, and as a result, they struggled with thoughts of suicide more often and more intensely in the past year. Others mentioned that they’d experienced suicidal feelings due to feeling isolated, trapped, unsupported or worried about the future.
I started to feel suicidal again because I just felt trapped by everything.
Radhana
Although many struggled, people also spoke about coronavirus acting as a prompt to re-evaluate their life and the positive learnings they had taken, even in the lowest points of the pandemic.
I would have ended my life but I couldn’t do that to my mum. I started exercising, stopped drinking wine and lost 10 kilos. I still struggle but I do feel COVID has made me look at my life, what is right for me while still maintaining a happy balance for others. I finally feel more in control of my life.
Elijah
Others spoke about the ability to re-frame coronavirus as a positive experience, for example Ruby reflected that “People can lose sight very quickly of the positives when something as big and negative as a pandemic happens. It's like the world is ending. Well, no, it's changed some, but there are opportunities to come out of it. There are benefits that are coming out of it.”
*Names have been changed to protect identities.